Men Looking for Men in India - Where to Find Them

Finding gay partners in India is a complex affair. Though same-sex relationships have been decriminalized post   , this is a society still shrouded in traditional mores which looks upon same-sex love as unnatural, perverted and increasingly an offshoot of western influence. Even then men looking for men in India can explore the following dating opportunities.

TIP: Browse profiles of single gay men in your city looking for activity partners and dates.

Gay bars

In North American and Europe, Usually every big city has a gay village where you can meet other singles in the bars and cafes. These bars cater specifically to same-sex lovers and those interested in meeting partners from the gay community. In India though, the concept of specific gay neighborhoods has not yet caught on though some localities have bars and nightclubs which are well-frequented by men looking for same-sex partners. Even in Mumbai, probably the most sexually liberated city, bars and singles clubs specially open to gay patrons are largely absent. However there are several bars, cafes and nightclubs with a gay-friendly atmosphere. Among these are Cafe Leopold on the Colaba Causeway, The Ghetto Pub on Warden Road, The CopaCabana Bar  on Chowpatty Beach, The Headquarter above the Cafe Royal, Calaba and others like Club 21. Bangalore was one of the earliest Indian cities to have a thriving bar and club scene but for the gay community, options are gain limited. One of the best places here though is the Pink Sky Bar at Seven Hotels on Outer Ring Road. The place is owned by a French Gay couple and is very neat and trendy. Most of the Saturday nights there are gay parties with different themes. Chin Lung on Residency Road is another bar in Bangalore  where most times there is a healthy percentage of gay clientele.  

Gay nights

In India though gay clubs are concentrated mainly in the biggest metros like Mumbai; even in the national capital, New Delhi, a casual internet search is unlikely to throw up bars and nightclubs exclusively for LGBT community in any significant numbers. What you are more likely to find though are bars and clubs hosting gay nights on a periodic basis, usually weekly or bi-monthly. One such place you can explore in New Delhi is a discotheque Pegs N Pints. Located in Chanakyapuri, the city’s diplomatic enclave, Pegs N Pints is probably  Delhi’s s only danceclub offering “gay nights on all Tuesdays.” another place to check out would be The Polka Club, in South Delhi's Kailash Colony, which is listed as having a gay disco on Saturday nights. In Mumbai, The perennial favorite is "Voodoo Lounge" with its loud and boisterous gay night on Saturdays. There are many more such places in Delhi which offer gay nights at bars and clubs but many of them are likely to  be disguised as private parties and dependent on word-of-mouth publicity. In the end,  the primary purpose of events is to provide social networking opportunities to gays so that they can choose suitable partners in ease and privacy. More such clubs are quite likely to host regular open nights or happy hours when the entry rules and costs are relaxed a bit. So keep your eyes and ears tuned for these special nights when you can mix and mingle with the other gays in town.

Gay Cruising places

If gay bars and singles clubs are difficult to come by in India, gay cruising places are even rarer. Mumbai is probably the only city where men looking for men can be found cruising in certain areas like The Walls' which is the road that runs along the waterfront of the Hotel Taj Mahal. Here you have the best chances closer to the Hotel Shelleys/Radio Club side. Apollo Bunder Promenade during late evenings and Chowpathy Beach in Mumbai at the end of Marine Drive is another place though you are likely to run into sex workers as well. In Bangalore, you may look in at Cubbon Park and MG Road for cruising spots, though these places are as likely to have straight couples looking for a hook-up as gays or bi-sexuals. What is important to keep in mind is that in India, such cruising places are not a safe option to look for partners. Very often these spots are subject to police action and the law is still not friendly to gay men looking for partners in public places.

Gay groups

A far safer and more effective way of networking with other men who share your sexual orientation would be to join organizations devoted to the cause of LGBT rights. In Mumbai BombayDost and Humsafar are two of the best known such organizations while in Kolkata, Dum Dum Sweekriti Sangh works for the protection and promotion of LGBT community. Naz Foundation, an organization that promotes positive sexual health and fights for gay rights. Most of these groups have meetings and get-togethers during which they discuss LGBT issues as well as plans of action. On the lighter side such organizations also host social and cultural events which are a great way of networking in a light-hearted context.

Art and Culture

Since the concept of gay neighborhoods is yet to take root in India, gay-specific art galleries, theaters clubs and bookstores are hard to come by. However many cities like Kolkata and Bangalore have a thriving cultural scene which has in recent years been enriched by expressions from the sexual minority groups as well. There are cultural and artistic expressions from the gay community in other cities as well. Nigah — a gay group born on the Jawaharlal Nehru University (JNU) campus — holds film festivals, book discussions, photography exhibitions and cultural shows for homosexuals. Two Delhi-based publication houses — Yoda Press and Sage Publications — publish books on alternative sexuality. Delhi even has a running group for queer people — called the Delhi Front Runners while Bangalore has been mixing sports with sexuality by organizing a queer cricket match in the city1. In March 2009,  a magazine for gays, Bombay Dost — which shut shop seven years ago — was re-launched as a mainstream media event. So keep track of arts and cultural events being hosted in your city and you are sure to come upon those which offer a chance for gay men to get together and celebrate same-sex love as well.

And even more visible proof of celebration of India’s LGBT community has been gay pride events and parades being organized in different cities. Kolkata was perhaps the earliest city to host a gay parade, as far back as in 1999. On 29 June 2008, four Indian cities - Delhi, Bangalore, Pondicherry and Kolkata - saw coordinated pride events. The next day, a rainbow parade was held at Chennai, known to be one of the most deeply conservative cities in India. Since then pride events and parades have not only emerged as a powerful political tool but also a great way of meeting other members of the gay community.

Gay dating websites

The internet has turned out to be a phenomenal socializing tool for gays – whether for those just coming out and interested to hook up with other gays or those who have been out for a longer while and are now looking for a life partner. And in a country like India where same-sex love is still hidden to escape the ire of both traditionalists and the law, online dating has worked particularly well for gays. there are a plethora of gay dating sites like Gaydia, Gaydar, IndusGay, Mingle2 and so on where you can not only meet potential partners but also chat with other gays to explore gay dating opportunities in your city. Then there are social networking sites which helps people from all around the world to come together virtually. So if you want to meet someone special or simply widen your social network of gays, go ahead and sign up.

In the end, very often the simplest approach is also the most effective. So look into your circle of friends, co-workers and acquaintances and ask if they know of suitable gay men. This could take the form of actual informal introduction arranged by a mutual friend or even being game for blind dates. Even if you don’t relish the prospect of your colleagues and neighbors finding out that you are gay, keep an open mind as you go about your daily routine. Who knows, you can end up meeting the man of your dreams at the grocery store or the record store or the coffee shop or the car wash or the park. After all, Gay men do the same activities and need to run the same errands as everyone else; this raises the odds of running into a potential partner far higher than sitting at home alone.

Reference:

1. Telegraph India - Queer? Not at all