Indian Dating and Matchmaking in Malaysia

The presence of Indians in Malaysia goes back to the eleventh century when Tamils from southern India established maritime trading ties with many countries in South East Asia. Today the Indian community is one of the most successful in Malaysia despite largely preserving their ancient religious and cultural practices – something which is evident in the dating and matchmaking process of the community.

Indians in Malaysia are either the descendents of the earliest South Indian migrants in the eleventh century or those who settled in the country during the period of British colonization. The Indian origin population is one of the most visible ethnic minority in Malaysia and according to the Census of Population and Housing, Dept of Statistics Malaysia 2000 makes about 8% (or around one and half million )of the country’s total population.

The history of Indian migration to Malaysia is around a thousand years old. During the eleventh century the Chola dynasty in southern India raised a powerful fleet of ships for maritime security and trade and which plied in the Bay of Bengal as well as the Indian Ocean. This led to a booming overseas trade between the South Indian kingdoms and the Malaysian ports which consequently meant a vibrant exchange of culture and people between the two regions. Not only did a large number of Tamils migrate to the Malaysian and Sumatran ports but they also carried their religious, cultural and linguistic traditions with them. In fact historians like Celine W.M. Arokiaswamy (2000) whose book Tamil Influences in Malaysia, Indonesia, and the Philippines is an important record of the linguistic influence of Tamil in the region, believe that Tamil was the most-used language of commerce in the Malay Peninsula from the fifteenth to nineteenth centuries.

The second major wave of Indian migration to Malaysia came about during the British colonization of the Indian subcontinent and then parts of Southeast Asia. This phase of migration is a classic example of how the British rulers segregated and then stereotyped Indian communities to serve their own colonial interests. The Tamil migrants were brought over to work mostly in the rubber estates while the Gujarati and Sindhi communities were encouraged in trading activities, especially the textile business. Bengalis were mostly professionals while the Sikhs staffed the police and military posts.  In fact by 1957, the Indian population stood at over eight million, a large percentage of which came back to India with the political independence of first India and then Malaysia as well as with the exit of the British colonizers from the region. Recent Indian immigrants to Malaysia largely comprise of skilled professionals working in the engineering, construction, hospitality and finance sectors.

The Indian origin community is mainly concentrated in the peninsular region of Malaysia. Interestingly, the geographical division of the various communities is reminiscent of the colonial settlement of their ancestors. For instance the Malaysian Indians of Tamil descent are located mainly in Perak, Selangor , and Negri Sembilan where their forefathers worked  on the rubber estates and railways while the business communities of Sindhis, Chettiars, Gujaratis and Tamil Muslims are more to be found in urban areas of Kuala Lumpur, Penang and Ipoh.

Today the Indian origin population in Malaysia follows a wide variety of religious and cultural practices – all of which inform dating and matchmaking in individual communities. However there are certain common features like a traditional belief in the system of arranged marriages. Like the custom followed in their country of origin, Indian elders in Malaysia too have traditionally taken charge of matchmaking negotiations. However with changing times, the younger generations have acquired a greater say in decisions affecting their personal lives. While dating is still not openly encouraged, parents are now more willing to understand their children’s concerns during the matchmaking process.

Yet another significant aspect of Indian matchmaking in Malaysia is the tradition of marrying within one’s specific religious and linguistic community. It is not only important for a Hindu to marry someone from his or her religion but a Hindu Tamil is also expected to marry only another Hindu Tamil. The same goes for other communities like Hindu Gujaratis, Sikhs, Tamil Muslims or Keralite Christians. However a ten-century old history of migration is bound to leave behind large instances of marrying into other ethnic, religious and linguistic groups. And the community popularly known as Chitty is in fact the result of Tamil descendants intermarrying with locals of Chinese or Malay origin.

The rise of identity politics all over the world has had its impact on Malaysia too. There are now a large number of Indian associations in Malaysia like the Malaysian Indian Business Association and the Miri Indian Association which raise awareness of the business, political, social and economic rights of the community. Other than these, there are also associations founded by specific Indian communities like AMMA or the All Malaysia Malayalee Association dedicated to the people from the Indian southern state of Kerala and the Malaysian Bengalee Association founded by the Bengali migrants to Malaysia. These associations also help its members stay in touch with their ethnic roots by organizing religious celebrations, cultural events and social get-togethers. Young people from the Indian communities consequently find such do’s not only useful to meet potential dates but even the older members are happy with the opportunities for networking that these events provide.

Besides actual associations founded by the Indian community, many of them have sprung in the virtual world too. For instance the Gujarati Association Wilayah Persekutuan and Selangor or GAWP founded by the members of the Gujarati community in Malaysia have their own websites which not only protects interests of Malaysians of Gujarati descent but also promotes interaction among its young members through a link to its youth page. There are a plethora of matchmaking and dating sites dedicated to connecting young Malaysian Indian singles from various parts of the country and even across the world. Other than these popular matrimonial sites catering to specific Indian communities they also have links to countries like Malaysia.

The Indian student population in Malaysia is largely limited to the children of earlier generation of Indian immigrants. Unlike the USA, UK or Australia, Malaysia is still not a popular destination for Indian citizens to pursue higher education. Nevertheless the Malaysian college campuses make for great venues of social interaction where the students of Indian origin can meet and make friends from other communities like Malays and Chinese.