How to Make New Friends in Italy

Among the countries in Europe, Italy is one of the most used to the presence of foreigners. A long history of invading empires and thriving tourism makes Italians quite comfortable with visitors which is why people from all over the world find them friendly and approachable. Even then here are a few tips to keep in mind when meeting new people in Italy and seeking to make friends.

Proud of their culture

Italy is a land of beauty, culture and tradition and here people are extremely proud of their history. So before mingling with Italians for the purpose of making friends, read up on the various geographic regions of Italy like Lombardy, Tuscany, Veneto and so on and remember what each is famous for. For instance don’t confuse the Chianti wine zone in Tuscany with the Barbera wine from Piedmont. And even if you cannot keep such details in mind, at least get an overview of the historical and cultural specialties of each region.

It is especially important to pick up the Italian language if you are keen on making new friends here. Although many locals can speak English now and other languages like French and German too, they naturally prefer to converse in their own. In fact Italian is not a difficult language to learn, especially if you have some knowledge of a Romance language such as French, Spanish or Latin.  In all these ways, the more you know about the culture, homeland and language of Italians, the easier it will be for you to open a discussion with people here and build new acquaintances.

Importance of the family

Even though the country has a long been having foreigners on the land, Italians still take some time before accepting new acquaintances into their fold. The main reason for this is perhaps that the family has always been and continues to be the bedrock of all social relationships. Italians are extremely close to their family and it is quite common to find adult men and women living with parents until they get married. In rural areas, two or more generations of families may still live in one big house or at least near each other. When socializing too, members of the family have priority which is why your new Italian friends may disappear on weekends and holidays which they prefer to spend with their parents, siblings, uncles, aunts and cousins. Then again Italians already have a close circle of friends with whom they have been socializing since early adulthood which is why it may take them some time to warm up to foreign acquaintances.

Where to meet them

If you wish to get across over the initial reserve of the Italians, a good way to do this would be to patronize the local establishments – visit the local shops and get to know the shopkeepers; drop in at the local cafes for your evening cup of coffee and frequent the bars in your neighborhood. People will soon begin to recognize you for a regular and eventually start exchanging pleasantries with you.

If you are in the country for some time, you can explore the possibility of joining a sports or a hobby club. In most big cities, there are a number of expatriate and international clubs that offer opportunities to socialize not only with foreigners but Italians as well. If you are a practicing Christian, attending a church every week will again throw you in regular contact with the local congregation.

Basics of conversation

Once you know where to mingle with Italians, be careful to use the proper forms of address. Like many other European languages, there are two words for “you”, the more polite, “lei” and the less formal, “tu”. The former is customarily used in initial interactions until you are invited to use the more informal mode of address, which is however the normal when addressing children and younger people. However keep in mind not to use someone’s first name until they invite you to do so – in Italy, a man is addressed as ‘Signor’ followed by his surname and a woman as ‘Signora’.

On the whole, Italians are avid conversationists – they not only enjoy discussing a wide range of topics but do so with a lot of gestures and demonstrations. They tend to express their feelings and opinions quite strongly so in the early stages of a friendship, it helps if you are a good listener. Italians are particularly fond of talking about the arts, culture, cuisine of various Italian regions and also of their local football clubs. Religion, politics and the Second World War though are topics best avoided just as in mixed company you should refrain from making many risqué comments.

Close-knit social relationships

When making new friends in Italy, it may be worthwhile to remember that people here put high value on nurturing friendship and other social relationships. They will look forward to meet up on a regular basis and not only expect you to turn up at parties and get-togethers but also on family occasions like weddings, funerals, birthdays, christenings and so on. In Italian culture, one cannot drop out of a relationship and then expect to revive it at a later date.

If you are invited to the home of an Italian friend, consider it as a special honor since Italians include only close friends into their inner social circle. This is an occasion that calls for a smart attire and a thoughtful gift for the hostess – tastefully decorated and good-quality chocolates or pastries are the safest options. Though a bottle of wine also makes a good gift, avoid picking up anything commonplace - keep in mind that since Italians are good judges of wine, they can easily make out a cheap affair. Also when seated at the table, avoid digging in until the chief host proposes a toast and others join in by saying ‘Salut’. Finally after the party, sending a handwritten note of thanks to the hostess will endear you to the family and create a solid bedrock of conviviality with your friends.