Ways to Convince your Wife to Stay

No marriage is entirely without its ups and downs. But when the low phases go on for too long or a seemingly more attractive prospect is on the horizon, then leaving home is often considered the easiest way out. And yet if there are a million good reasons for divorce, there are equally numerous reasons for giving your marriage another chance. So if your wife is on the verge of leaving you, here are a few steps which can help you to convince her to stay.

TIP: Read the guide to prevent a break up or get back with your ex.

Refrain from all negative expressions

 if your wife is already packing her bags, chances are she has made up her mind about leaving an unhappy marriage and no amount of justifications and excuses from you will have any effect – at least at this stage. Thus the most immediate thing to do it is to stop nagging, fighting, rolling your eyes at each other and launching into accusations. Most couples start the wrong way round when they are trying to fix a tottering marriage. They begin by diagnosing what has gone wrong and end up analyzing and dissecting the relationship to death. The more they focus on clashing priorities, rising tempers and out-of-control emotions, the more they are likely to get nowhere. So if you want to convince your way to stay and give your marriage another chance, start by putting aside all negative feelings between you and her. above all, never ever use physical force in a mistaken attempt to make her stay – any physical restriction will not only result in you being hauled up for marital abuse but you can kiss any chances of reconciliation with your wife goodbye.

Start building bridges

Even if you have been successful in persuading your wife to put down her suitcases, don’t be in rush to have “the talk”. At this stage launching into the familiar circle of arguments and counter-arguments about what went wrong with your marriage and why you both should give it another chance is probably the last thing your wife needs. Instead set about creating a positive atmosphere between you two. After months and perhaps years of marital conflict, you may have forgotten how to empathize with each other. Start out by going back to the time when you were dating and remember how you treated her with affection, care and consideration. Make a real attempt to feel those emotions for your wife now. Make her feel special and this will make her more open to reconciliation. At the same time awaken those qualities in you that your wife found irresistible in the beginning. If she flipped over your sense of humor, make her laugh again. If she loved watching you paint pictures or play the piano, take up those interests again.

Above all make your interactions as light and upbeat as possible. Do things which you used to enjoy when you were first dating like sampling the newest restaurants in town or watching DVDs together. Avoid talking of what went wrong with your marriage and laying the blame on your spouse. Also take things slowly and don’t demand reassurance or commitment from your wife right now. Keep things pleasurable and positive between you two so that it leads to greater interactions and you both rediscover the highs of being with each other.

Put your finger on the issues

After you have achieved a measure of peace and good will in your relationship, you can proceed to fix what may have gone wrong in the marriage. Here it will be crucial to maintain an objective point and not launch into a litany of your wife’s faults. Start by finding out when and what began causing the rift between you two and why things came to such a pass that she wanted to leave you and her home.

Very often marriages come to a breaking point when partner feel that they are not being understood, valued or appreciated. Women are especially vulnerable to such feelings when their husbands start taking them for granted and paying them less attention over years in a marriage. Wives often feel unloved and unappreciated despite giving so much to the marriage and all this proves a fertile ground for affairs. In such a situation you have to sit down with your wife and reiterate that she is the most important person in your life and that you would want to work with them in order to improve the situation. As soon as your wife understands that instead of looking for a confrontation, you are actually in the same team with her and want the same things, she will be much more receptive to what you have to say.

Consider what needs to change

It is not enough to diagnose the issues that ailed your marriage – you also need to find ways to resolve them. This is the most important step if you want to convince your wife to stay in the marriage. even more than mouthing romantic phrases and buying expensive gifts, your wife will seen what has changed on the ground so as to be convinced to stay back. Focus on those aspects of your own mental and emotional makeup that may have contributed to the conflict. Perhaps you always believe that you are right in any arguments with your wife or you take her for granted while making big purchases or ignoring her need for intimacy. Find out what you need to change about yourself and be sure to stick to those changes.

Don’t tell your wife that you are willing to be more responsible or more faithful and then half a year down the line, go back to making the same mistakes. This will make her feel that you cannot be trusted and that you are not serious about saving the marriage.

Show her your love

All the while that you are working to save your marriage, make use of small gestures to express your love for her. Every now and then, make it a point to say,  how much you love her and that you still care for him no matter what you both have been through. Bring her flowers even if there is no ostensible reason for doing so; help with the household chores even if they do not fall within your ambit of responsibilities. Or ask how she is feeling if she appears upset. Keep in mind that for women, romance and verbal expressions of emotions are often more important in love than physical passion, so make efforts to nurture emotional intimacy with her.  at the same time, engage in non-sexual gestures of affection, like holding her hands, hugging her after she comes home, encouraging her to snuggle up to you or kissing her for no apparent reason. All these gestures will make your wife feel closer to you and give her even further reasons why she should stay.

Seek professional help

Convincing a spouse to try and give the marriage another shot can be an uneven,  complicated process. Even after you and your wife have decided to resolve issues, you may find there is still work to be done, especially if there is a lover on the horizon. In such a situation it is best to seek help from a professional marriage counselor who may be able to bring some aspect of your marriage to your attention that you may have not noticed or effectively addressed by yourselves.