When your Guy is Obsessed with Football or Soccer

Every girl knows that sports and guys seem to go hand in hand. Usually girls deal with it a range of reactions ranging from a determined indifference to actually feigning interest in the game. But when your guy becomes obsessed with football to the extent of the sport invading your relationship, here are a few things you can do.

Understand that it is how guys are made

Men come hardwired with a competitive spirit – perhaps as a throwback to the primitive times when they had to fight tooth and nail for food and survival. Whatever the reason, competing and especially winning is extremely important for a man since this is how he assures himself – and others – that he is the best. When watching football, your guy lives vicariously through his team as though he is the twelfth man on the field. Rooting for the team and playing by proxy, as it were, allows him to partake of the intense competition and the drive to win. Once you understand the psychological underpinnings of a man’s obsession with sports, it may be easier for you to come to terms with your boyfriend or husband’s passion for pigskin.

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Men want action

Football is intense and speedy. The sport is packed with action, pace and drama which makes it hard for a football fan to move his eyes from the TV screen even if the dog is messing up the living room carpet right then.  One way to deal with your man’s obsession with football could be for you to suggest doing something together with lots of action and pace in it like wind-surfing on the beach, ice-skating in the local rink or even enjoying hair-raising rides at the amusement park. The whole idea is to do something together which is fast and has lots of action.
 

Get out of doors

It makes no sense to complain to the world that your boyfriend is not paying you enough attention when all that you want to do is drag him to Bloomingdale’s and then force him to get bored while you try on an umpteen number of dresses. Rather make plans for outdoor activities like boating on the river/lake, a hike through the mountains or perhaps just a drive through the country if the weather is good. Even though not in the same league as a football match, you partner might seem much more eager to join you if it involves getting out of doors and into the open.


 

Let him make choices

One reason why your man could be so obsessed about football is perhaps it lets him – vicariously of course – make decisions which he may not be allowed to do in actual life. From determining the strategies of the game and telling the players what to do to anticipating the moves of the opponents, your guy may be acting like a proxy coach all the time the game is on. It may be his way of getting an illusion of control which is sure to break once the final whistle goes, but as long as it is there, he feels that he is the one in charge. Consider if you have been taking away most of the initiative in your relationship or if he is having a rough time exercising his opinions at work. While there is not much that you can do about the latter, see if allowing him more room to exercise his choices in personal life brings him some level of satisfaction, thereby reducing his dependence on the game to feel important.
 

Bring in variety to your social circle

Football is a great way of bonding among men. Your guy would be happy to hug, laugh and cry with fellow supporters during a game being screened at the local  pub even though they are perfect strangers in real life. Interestingly however the same guy would appear stiff and formal at a family dinner at your cousin’s place and when asked why, would shrug his shoulders and point out that he hardly knows them. Fact is, sports forges male bonding that few activities in daily life do ( other examples are being together in a battlefield or on dangerous expeditions). Watching a game together gives your guy a chance to bond  with others who may be of different political affiliations or follow different lifestyles but nevertheless at this moment are all brothers in a shared passion. Perhaps if your man has more opportunities for satisfying social interaction, like hanging out with friends from high school or meeting co-enthusiasts of his favorite hobby, he may be less hooked to football for the gang impulse it engenders.
 

Have a talk

Despite your best efforts to be understanding, if you find your boyfriend completely neglecting your needs because of his obsession with football, perhaps it is time for a little chat. Choose a time when the game is not on and he is relatively free. Express your feelings  of hurt and frustration at being ignored all the time instead of making accusatory statements like “You always ignore me” or “You are never there for me”. Keep the talk brief and to the point and finish by clearly spelling out what he can do to make you feel happier.
 

If the Super Bowl season is just around the corner..

However if the Super Bowl season is just round the corner, there is little you or your talk that can do to diminish your guy’s obsession with football. At such times, it makes sense to join ‘em if you can’t beat ‘em. Look up the rules, pick up the lingo and lustily cheer for your man’s team and it may finally get him to notice you after all this time.

Guys obsessing over sports is nothing new but according to wives and girlfriends, football fans are among the worst. When you have done all you could and still been unable to drag your guy away from the telly, look at the bright side. After all football parties are some of the most happening places in town and in your heart of hearts you know that the Super Bowl season won’t last forever.