Rent a Friend in USA - Renting a Companion in USA

In a culture where almost everything is on hire, getting people to hang out with in lieu of money does not quite stretch the imagination. The rent-a-friend service which started out in Japan has now caught on in other countries as well. But what are the various aspects of this trend and how comfortably does it sit with the traditional notion of friendship as a selfless relationship?

In United States the rent-a-friend business works like anywhere else which essentially means you have to shell out a fixed amount of money to get the services of a ‘friend’. He or she is usually an individual with whom you can go to the movies, the art gallery, a relative’s wedding or simply have a cup of coffee. These individuals are usually associated with an agency that provides this sort of service but many of them also work by themselves or in other words ‘freelance’. The usual rate in the US for a hired ‘friend’ ranges from $20 to $50 an hour, though this may vary according to a client’s expectations from the ‘friend’ and the area of business.

However every social phenomenon is colored by its cultural specificities and the rent-a-friend practice is no different. In Japan, the trend started as a way of keeping up appearances in a society that is still strict about form and structure. Family gatherings like match-making occasions, weddings and funerals demand the presence of a requisite number of relatives and friends. However with the disintegration of traditional family structures and increasing isolation, individuals often found themselves lacking contacts to take to such social occasions. This vacuum was filled up by agencies which were not only ready to provide individuals to stand in for friends but also for relatives, bosses, co-workers, parents and even spouses. In the United States however the rent-a-friend business is more geared towards individual gratification. Since the American society feels less obsessed by traditional norms and social conventions, the need to save face at social occasions is less pressing. Here people are more forthcoming about separations, divorces and job losses. At the same time, the passing away of earlier close-knit family structures and the fraying of the social fabric which is common to other developed societies has left Americans too at a loose end. And what quicker way to fill up the vacuum in one’s social life than by hiring someone to have a good time with.

The rent-a-friend service is relatively a recent one in the United States and is largely driven by online business. One of the most popular websites offering ‘friends’ for hire in this country is Rentafriend.com. Started by Scott Rosenbaum only seven months back, it already has a 2000 strong list of paying members and receives around 100,000 unique views a month. There are around 108,000 ‘friends’ available for rent and each of these maintains an online profile with photos, a self-description as well as a list of activities he or she is available for. While a ‘friend’ can put him/herself on hire for free, clients have to shell out around $24.95 a month or $69.95 a year to shop for ‘friends’. Payments are made in advance and PayPal is a preferred channel. Though Scott admits that he started the website on the Japanese model, today it offers its clients companions for very American diversions like wine-tasting, sky-diving, psychic readings, balloon rides, working out, prom nights and gambling. Other websites to cash in on the demand are rentafriendusa.com and rentalocalfriend.com.

Despite the discomfort with commercialization of personal relationships like friendship, there are certain situations where the practice may help ward off loneliness. A bored stay-at-home mom who wishes for someone to go shopping with, an out-of-town grandmother who is visiting relatives or a traveling businessmen keen to do some local sight-seeing in his spare hours – all these people find rent-a-friend service offer the right answer to their lack of companions. Research indicates that chronic loneliness may leave a person vulnerable to depression, suicide, hypertension and a host of viral infections. A related statistic reveals that at least 20% of the population in US, or around 60 million people, are feeling lonely at any given moment. Also loneliness appears to be contagious and actually spreads through three degrees of separation according to a study published by University of New York psychologist John Cacioppo. This essentially means that if you have a friend who is lonely, you are 40 to 60 percent more likely to be lonely than others. Moreover loneliness acts as a self-perpetuating cycle, making people withdraw from the social scene which in turn makes it harder to find friends.

However not all takers of the rent-a-friend service are lonely people. It is also a convenient way to follow your own interests, minus the awkwardness of doing it alone. A culture of increasing individualization has made it difficult for people to adjust to each other’s pursuits and preferences. So while your partner may prefer classical or jazz music, you may be hardcore fan of acid rock. And when lacking a companion to a concert, what better way than to hire one. This will not only save you painful rounds of negotiations with real pals but also the embarrassment of having to go to the concert by yourself.

It is only when the stop-gap is preferred to the solution that a practice become dangerous. ‘Friends’ for hire, warn psychologists, can never fully satisfy the need for actual friends. The trust, selfless giving and the long abiding aspects of a real friendship cannot be expected to develop in a relationship where you need to pay a person to have a cup of coffee with you. Moreover getting used to paid ‘friends’ might make a person less eager to make the effort in building real relationships, a fact which he/she may rue when the hired ‘friend’ refuses to offer a sympathetic ear after a rough day in the absence of a monetary exchange.

When social networking sites like facebook allow hundreds of ‘friends’, it is ironic to find that one needs to actually pay someone to hang out with. Perhaps it is a sign of times when a friend has been moved out from the comfort zone of a noun and commercialized into a verb.