How to Convince your Husband to Come Back

Every marriage goes through ups and downs. But when the low phases go on for too long or become traumatic for either spouse, leaving home is often considered the easiest way out. And yet if there are a million good reasons for divorce, there are equally numerous reasons for giving your marriage another chance. So if your marriage is on the verge of breaking up or you are already separated from your husband, here are a few steps which can help you to convince him to come back.

Get rid of negative feelings

Most couples start the other way round when they are trying to fix a tottering marriage. They begin by diagnosing what has gone wrong and end up analyzing and dissecting the relationship to death. The more they focus on clashing priorities, rising tempers and out-of-control emotions, the more they are likely to get nowhere. So if you want to convince your husband to come back and give your marriage another chance, start by putting aside all negative feelings between you and him. No doubt this is a tall order but you need to stop nagging and fighting first if you both are to get anywhere with your attempt at reconciliation.

Get back with your ex with this step-by-step guide.

Reach out

Once you have regained a measure of equanimity within yourself, you need to reach out to your husband. the exact method will depend upon the current status of your relationship – for instance if he has only partially moved out and is still in touch over phone or through emails, suggest that you meet for coffee or at the kids’ school. on the other hand if you both are legally separated, then you could rope in family and mutual friends to get back together in touch while a divorce may even entail the intervention of your respective legal representatives.

Create a positive atmosphere

however after you get back in touch with your husband, do rush to have “the talk”. this is probably the reason why he has been avoiding a meeting and since he has already moved out, he probably gone through innumerable discussions and arguments over the disintegrating marriage. instead set about creating a positive atmosphere between you two. After months and perhaps years of marital conflict, you may have forgotten how to empathize with each other. Start out by going back to the time when you were dating and remember how you treated your partner with affection, care and consideration. Make a real attempt to feel those emotions for your spouse now. Make him feel special and this will make them more open to reconciliation. At the same time awaken those qualities in you that your husband found irresistible in the beginning. If he flipped over your sense of humor, make him laugh again. If he loved watching you paint pictures or play the piano, take it up again. make your interactions as light and upbeat as possible. Do things which you used to enjoy when you were first dating. During this time, avoid talking of what went wrong with your marriage and laying the blame on your spouse. Also take things slowly and don’t demand reassurance or commitment from your spouse right now. Keep things  pleasurable and positive between you two so that it leads to greater interactions and you both rediscover the highs of being with each other.

Find out what went wrong

After you have achieved a measure of reciprocity and good will in your relationship, you can proceed to fix what may have gone wrong in the marriage. Here it will be crucial to maintain an objective point and not launch into a litany of your husband’s faults. Start by finding out when and what began causing the rift between you two and why things came to such a pass that he had to leave home or separation became the only option.

Very often marriages come to a breaking point when partner feel that they are not being understood, valued or appreciated. Husbands may complain of lessening or absence of intimacy since wives are too busy with kids, work and friends. Wives may on the other hand feel unloved and unappreciated despite giving so much to the marriage. In such a situation you have to sit down with your husband and reiterate that he is the most important person in your life and that you would want to work with them in order to improve the situation. As soon as your spouse understands that instead of looking for a confrontation, you are actually in the same team with him and want the same things, he will be much more receptive to what you have to say.

Work out a solution

It is not enough to diagnose the issues that ailed your marriage – you also need to find ways to resolve them. This is the most important step if you want to convince your husband to return to you and your family. In order to resolve the underlying issues, remember that both of you will have to compromise on certain matters. Only when you and your husband are willing to change certain aspects of your personality, will you be giving your marriage a fighting chance. Focus on those aspects of your own mental and emotional makeup that may have contributed to the conflict. Perhaps you always believe that you are right in any arguments with your husband or you take him for granted while making big purchases or ignoring his need for intimacy. Find out what you need to change about yourself and be sure to stick to those changes. Don’t tell your husband that you are willing to be more responsible or more faithful and then half a year down the line, go back to making the same mistakes. This will make him feel that you cannot be trusted and that you are not serious about saving the marriage.

Show him your love

All the while that you are working to save your marriage, make use of small gestures to express your love for him. every now and then, make it a point to say,  how much you love him and that you still care for him no matter what you both have been through. after your husband comes back from work, ask about his day Or ask how he is feeling if he appears upset. likewise show that you respect him and support his decisions, even though they may not always work out as hoped. above all, initiate intimacy every once in a while since Love and physical passion are more interchangeable for men than for women to whom romance and verbal expressions of emotions often more important in love. At the same time, don’t be under the mistaken notion that that all men want physically is sex. Men want and need touching just as much if not more than women do. So touch his hands, arms and shoulders, kiss him for no apparent reason. All these gestures will make him feel closer to you and show him even further reasons why he should come back.

Seek professional help

Convincing a spouse who has left to come back can be an uneven,  complicated process. Even after you and your husband have decided to resolve issues, you may find there is still work to be done. In such a situation it is best to seek help from a professional marriage counselor who may be able to bring some aspect of your marriage to your attention that you may have not noticed or effectively addressed by yourselves.