How to Make New Friends in Belgium

Belgium is a small country in Western Europe that is bordered by larger neighbors like Germany and France. And yet it is has its own political, financial and cultural importance as evident from the fact that the Belgian capital city Brussels is the headquarters of the European Union parliament. Above all, Belgians enjoy a high quality of life. So if you are keen to make new friends in Belgium, here is a brief account of what to do.

Respect linguistic and cultural diversity

When meeting new people in Belgium, one of the first things to remember is that you cannot generalize them culturally. This is because of the linguistic diversity of Belgian population. The country is home to two distinct linguistic groups: the first is the Flemish who make up about 60% of the population. They speak Dutch and are settled in Flanders in the northern part of the country. The second major group consists of the Walloons who speak French and are settled in southern region of Wallonia. Other than these two main groups, there is a small number of German-speakers who are localized in eastern Wallonia. In fact the administrative region of and around Brussels, the capital city of Belgium, though officially bilingual is a mostly French-speaking enclave within the Flemish region. Belgium's linguistic diversity and related political conflicts are reflected in the political history and a complex system of government which has a markedly federal structure. Being aware of the political and linguistic diversity of Belgium will not only help you make a good impression on your new friends here but more importantly help you to avoid any embarrassing faux pas caused by their political or cultural leanings. For instance few foreigners visiting Belgium will know any Dutch and the Flemings will accept this as a matter of course and even be happy to speak to you in English – but on no account should you address them in French which would be the lingua  franca in Wallonia and Brussels. However if you find yourself in the company of both Walloons and Flemings, the best option is to stick to English which is regarded as completely neutral.

How to address

Both Dutch and French use different words for “you” – if using the former, it is safest to stick to the formal ‘u’ which is both singular and plural, especially when speaking to someone you don’t know well or have just met. The informal je (singular) or jullie (plural) are used for children, family and close friends – wait for someone to invite you to call him/her by their first name before using the more informal je. In French also, the usage is much the same with the formal 'vous' being used with new acquaintances until invited to use the more casual 'tu'.

Even though first names and informal pronouns are increasingly being used these days at the workplace, the practice is less usual when there is a significant difference in age or seniority or in the context of business relationships. It is best to wait until invited to move on to the informal level of address with any newly-formed acquaintance in Belgium.

Where to meet new people

Though Belgians are approachable people on the whole, forming a new friendship may require some effort on your part. If you are invited to an informal occasion, for instance a birthday party, try and accept it – among Belgians such small social get-togethers are an important way of nurturing harmony in an organization and larger society.

A far more common way of making friends in Belgium is in the classroom or the hobby club. It is quite common in the country to belong to clubs or attend evening classes in a range of subjects from language to gardening. If you plan to spend some time in the country, try and follow the local example and you will not only get to develop new interests, pick up languages like Dutch but also get opportunities to socialize with your class mates and fellow hobby enthusiasts.

Yet another great way to meet new people in Belgium is to be part of the café culture which is an intrinsic part of the social scene. Here you find people sitting in cafes or outside on the terrace - at all times of the day - chatting with friends, reading a book or simply watching the world go by. Here people are more likely to be relaxed and approachable than at professional or business venues and best of all you get to meet people from a wide range of backgrounds in Belgian society. Like elsewhere, here too you may have to make the first move and open a polite conversation over coffee and waffles. And unless the person is engrossed in a book or buy otherwise, he/she may be quite happy to converse with you.

Values that they hold dear

Despite their linguistic diversity, Belgians share some important traits which are part of the national character. And one of these is their love of neat and orderly way of life. You will find both men and women here speaking softly and politely. Being courteous to all and awaiting your turn in all interactions of civic life is very important in Belgian society. So when out your Belgian friend make sure that you display a calm and polite demeanor. Do not lose your temper and get abusive, no matter how severe the provocation. At such times, you may even get a “judging look” from the people around; this not so much because they dislike foreigners but because they are very keen on good manners in public places. Also take pains to dress up neatly when going on a date with a Belgian partner. Don’t be under the impression that sporting a two-day stubble and crumpled tee-shirt will be appreciated for the ‘casual’ look. Rather personal grooming and an understated elegance are important ways to impress a man or woman here. Most of all remember to be punctual. Belgians have a strict notion of time and interpret tardiness as a definite symptom of an unfavorable character. When conversing with Belgians, bear in mind that they are a modest people and distrust those who boast about themselves and their achievements. On the other hand, the weather, food, drink and current events are suitable as topics of conversation – indeed Belgians in general have sophisticated tastes and can hold their own in discussions of art and other cultural matters.